Struggling

So minutes ago I turned off Insanity before the end.  I didn't even do the cool down stretch at the end.  I am not going to give up this easily but I feel this might not be my thing.  I found a love for the Y as I went three to five times a week.  I know I have strayed and no longer can call the Y my second home but I think starting to work out to Insanity has made me remember my love again for the Y.  It is hard to work out, the more I do, the more I love it.  I love pushing myself, but the intensity of Insanity is more than I am used to and not having a partner in crime is pretty lonely.  I like being alone normally but I guess this is different.  
I feel a dilemma that I don't know what to do.  
I have been drinking most of my water, again something I have to get used to again.
I have not been for a run yet, again I hope soon to get out on the road.
My friends I am admitting loud and clear, I am struggling!