Plan of Action

I am starting Insanity all over again tomorrow.  I only did two days of it, not because it was hard or because I am lazy but things just kept happening and I was pretty sick.  I am still not 100% but I am ready.  I even have a partner in crime joining me, well at least she says she will.... tomorrow I will know for sure.  With or without her I will be busting my ass.  I worked very hard to lose over 75 lbs and I still have a ways to go.  In an earlier blog post I mentioned that I have been struggling and seemed to lost my way for a bit, at that time I said I was ready to get back on track.  It seems I was not really ready...... I am now!
Healthy food and maintaining a healthy schedule is so very important also.
I am pretty scared to start Insanity but the hard work is going to pay off....
I have a few other things in store for myself......
I want to run my first 5K by May...... which means I need to start running again.  I enjoy running but I haven't ran in a while.... this should be fun!
I need to follow a strict schedule, training and eating......
Maybe packing my food for work would be a good idea too.

WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME WILL ONLY MAKE ME STRONGER

• Insanity 6 days a week
• Run 3 days a week
• 20 min Boost before getting ready for work (crunches n push ups)
• Spin class every Monday night
• 80 oz of water every day

I believe blogging will help me stay accountable to myself.

Every Monday evening I will be blogging about the week .

Monday's will be my healthy update blog.                        

Cherish Today

It's late and although I complain a lot about the petty small things in my life I am quite aware this evening that I really have nothing to complain about.  My life is normal, I have the ups and downs like any married adult would have.  My job can suck sometimes and even though I bought my car new it makes me frustrated occasionally.  The bills pile up and household chores need to be done even if I am tired.  I get depressed sometimes just because and I procrastinate a little too much......... My husband, who adores me can still make me crazy but my life is good......I am in good health and my family is all well..... tonight again it was proven to me that things could always be worse.

    A friend of mine is suffering the worst loss anyone could, she is mourning the loss of her child.  No parent should ever have to feel that sadness.  I can't imagine what she is going through, I can only be empathetic to her situation.  

    There are people out there struggling and doing everything in their power to have a child, these people want nothing more than to love a baby and raise them with values and spend those cherished moments in life with them.  I know women who have carried a child for some time only to lose that child, sad.  I know women who have been through numerous miscarriages and still births.  I have friends that know the loss this woman is going through tonight, stirring up terrible emotions.   

    I can only hope that her family and friends will keep her close to them.  Through the grief may she find solace.  The time she shared with her little man will forever be in her heart.  His smile gracing her mornings, hearing his giggle through the days.  Her evenings spent knowing he is at peace and forever her angel.  

    Let us all remember to not forget to say I love you to the ones we love.  Don't wait until tomorrow to say hello to a friend.  Pick up the phone and talk to someone that you are missing.  

                           No one is promised a tomorrow.

Rambling

I should be sleeping right now but this is my wind down time.  It is the beginning of my weekend and with so much on my mind I just need a little me time.  I could go for a drink but I opt out ( not needing the extra calories ). Everyone is sleeping soundly upstairs, probably for hours.  My cats greeted me with much love at the door, just like every day.  I lost my voice again at work and although I tried to keep my spirits up it was quite frustrating.  I went to work full of energy and a voice and I left squeaking again and feeling run down with a headache again.  My headache has pretty much gone away and although my feline friends are here with me I have no need or want to try to speak right now.  My thoughts are racing....... 

         This has been an okay weekend.  Having the girls here is great and it seems the stress level has been minimal lately.  But I am sick and feel like blah blah blah.  I wanted to sleep the whole day away but forced myself to get up and be a good step mom.  I cleaned up the house, folded laundry that I had washed the day before and even cooked dinner ( homemade chili ).  I watched the girls giggle and play X Box.  I wanted to play around but just didn't have the energy to join in.  They will be going home tomorrow and all I can hope is that they know how much they are loved and missed when not here.  

         I am done rambling now............. 

Broken

I don't believe I am lazy, and I don't believe that I make excuses... but
I can't seem to find the time to get my focus back.
I want to start Insanity but there is stuff going on that makes it hard for me to do so.
I want to get to the gym but again stuff that is happening around here makes it a bit difficult.
How do I find my way again, I am so frustrated in myself right now and the way life just keeps happening.

I want this maintenance guy to not be coming here anymore......
I want to not be sick anymore, I am not like ill but have not been 100% lately.
I want to have the motivation to overcome all of this.
I want to find time for me again.

I am just rambling and I don't even know why, I just feel like I want so much to happen and I am at a standstill right now.  My motivation button is broken and it sucks.....

Day One

My lazy ass needed to find a new motivation and with winter rearing its cold nasty head going to the Y becomes a back burner maybe.  I find excuses to not go running, cause it's cold outside and well there is always something around the house for me to do.  I have over ten different DVD's and workout games for X Box and Wii and yet the chore seems to be getting off of the couch and inserting the disc in the player.  All of 2011 I worked out and was proud of the accomplishments made.  Why is that laziness is so easy.  I don't know, but today ended that streak......
I did Insanity Fit Test, Day one of Insanity completed.
I am proud of myself.

Cold Day

What do kids do on cold, snowy days?  Well when I was young we played in the snow.....threw snow balls at one another....maybe built a snowman.  On a good day maybe make snow angels.  We bundled up and enjoyed the winter weather.  Kicked around the fluffy white stuff and of course shoveled because as my father said thats what he had a kid for ( chuckles ).  

        Today kids see cold days differently, it's just another excuse to sit inside and play with the toys of today.  Not like a game of checkers, where they could possibly interact with someone else but with their I-Pods and tablets.  A cold day to the children of this day and age means sitting on the couch watching TV..... ear buds in listening to music at the same time.

                       You ask them to shovel snow and unless you specify that you want everything shoveled it seems to only take them a few minutes...... a path big enough for a little person to walk through.  

               Oh to be young again and feel the joy of just playing around.  Now when I see the fluffy white stuff, all I think about are the idiots who don't know how to drive in the winter...... scraping the ice off the windshield of my car and the fact that I am getting old and the cold really does bother me.

Family Night

Vacation day for family day.  It was well worth it.  Dinner eaten together, which is rare in this house and game night which in itself is a lot of fun.  My step daughters probably don't realize how much having them here makes me feel better.  My wonderful husband is happier, maybe sometimes a bit stressed but happy none the less.  I am wide awake trying to unwind and still getting this blogging thing down.

Freedom

Losing weight is a freeing sensation. You become comfortale in the body you have and never realize what else is out there waiting for you. Weight is not the only thing you lose when finding one's self..... you lose resentment to the food in front of you. You lose baggage of past angers. You lose the fight within yourself, which is normally the root of your weight issues. I am an over eater who has learned what the word moderation means. I have a compulsive nature, whether it is cleaning, reading, eating, working out, and need I say probably blogging. I start projects and until recently was not known to finish them. There is a new me brewing inside but unfortunately I still sense the lazy, unmotivated Opal rearing her head.