Broken

I don't believe I am lazy, and I don't believe that I make excuses... but
I can't seem to find the time to get my focus back.
I want to start Insanity but there is stuff going on that makes it hard for me to do so.
I want to get to the gym but again stuff that is happening around here makes it a bit difficult.
How do I find my way again, I am so frustrated in myself right now and the way life just keeps happening.

I want this maintenance guy to not be coming here anymore......
I want to not be sick anymore, I am not like ill but have not been 100% lately.
I want to have the motivation to overcome all of this.
I want to find time for me again.

I am just rambling and I don't even know why, I just feel like I want so much to happen and I am at a standstill right now.  My motivation button is broken and it sucks.....